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This blog describes my journey with the tarot. Here you can find articles, spreads, deck reviews, tarot fiction, practice readings, exercises or get readings (see tabs above).

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Freitag, 24. Mai 2013

Mothers and daughters


I came across the link to The Tarot Lady's blog the other day on Facebook and it made me think. I suppose mothers and daughters have a very special relationship - one that can be so fraught and difficult but also very intense. As for me and my mother, I've always had a difficult relationship with her in the past but it has gotten a lot better ever since I moved out and lived my own life. Part of it is probably her mellowing with age but the other part of it - as much as I wanted to avoid that - is that I'm becoming more like her in a number of ways as I grow older. 

Saying that, it's very easy to list all the annoying characteristics your mother has and the things she did or said that totally pissed you off and can still drive you up the wall but I suppose it's well worth asking which are the good features you received from your mother and how you can make them work for you. I like the easy two-card spread the Tarot Lady suggests on the blog and I decided I will try it even though it still freaks me out to think I could become like my mother. 

Now I'm mother to a daughter myself (who will probably not want to become like me either), which makes exploring this even more interesting. 

How am I like my mother and how can I embrace, accept or transform this quality?

How am I like my mother? - The Emperor reversed

Funnily enough, the Emperor is about rules, principles, structure and order - which pretty much embodies where me and my mother disagreed the most. She drove me nuts with her constant bickering about how awful my room looked (no matter how tidy or untidy it was, the bickering would remain the same). She had/has very strict principles and I found that very restrictive. The positive aspect of this is, she was and is very reliable, predictable and structured. She managed life with four kids, a husband and a part-time job. She did have some help in the household and garden but still, I can only admire her time management and organising skills (something I lack). She would never forget a birthday or get swamped. The reversal points to my shortcomings in that area but for me it also means that even though on a surface level I'm not like my mother as far as order and principles are concerned, I still have my own "order" and structure in my "creative chaos". I have found my own way of structuring my days and my life. I'm more chaotic and could definitely improve my time management but with the important things I'm well-organised and structured. The other thing about the Emperor is that I have my principles and can be very strict about them just like my mother. 

How can I embrace, accept or transform this quality? - Three of Cups

I can best use this quality in dealing with my social contacts. That is very true. With my bad time management and everything I often forget birthdays or just don't get round to calling or writing and it would definitely help if I was a little more organised in that area. I suppose my mother sets a good example there. 
The three of cups is also about joy and pleasure and I suppose it means it would be easier for me to enjoy life if I was a little more organised as I wouldn't become hectic and walk through life thinking "damn, you still have to..." or "oh no, I totally forgot to..." and I'd probably waste less time procrastinating. 
My principles and convictions make me reliable and predictable like my mum which probably helps me in social interactions as I'm usually not moody and there are no unpleasant surprises when dealing with me (at least I don't think there are). 

This was fun - even though I kind of dreaded this reading.