I have a question regarding a man who has recently entered my life and has - I have to admit - shaken me up quite a bit. Even though he has rescued me in a life-threatening situation I am not sure he wasn't just in it because he hopes for a big financial reward. He has been involved in smuggling and that kind of criminal activity. He's a bit of a scoundrel, pretty scruffy-looking (even though in a handsome kind of way) and so macho and alpha male it makes me furious.
Still, if I'm very honest with myself I have to admit that I feel strongly attracted to him. The question is: could a man like that actually be in a relationship? Wouldn't he just hurt me? Or maybe he just needs someone level-headed at his side to make a decent guy out of him? I can't shake the feeling that deep down he has a good heart and probably even has feelings for me, too.
I feel silly asking about this in a way as I have a lot more serious matters at hand that I should be dealing with as I'm leading a rebellion against the Empire but this really keeps bugging me and I feel I can't think straight if I don't get this off my chest soon.
Leia Organa of Alderaan
Your Royal Highness,
I'm honoured you should turn to me with your question and I think I have just the right spread to assess this relationship and whether it is worth taking it any further.
It's a four-card spread that in addition makes use of the shadow card (the card that is at the very bottom of the pack after you deal the cards). I dealt them in a diamond shape 1 at the bottom 3 and 4 in the middle 2 on top, the shadow card placed to the right of the "diamond".
I used the "Joie de Vivre" deck by Paulina Cassidy and the cards and positions were as follows:
1: What you think about this relationship - Page of Cups
2: What he thinks about this relationship - Eight of Wands
3: What factors act in favour of this becoming a serious relationship - Ten of Cups
4: What factors oppose this becoming a serious relationship - Judgement (reversed)
Shadow: What needs to be brought into the light before this can become a serious relationship - Strength
First of all it is a good sign to have two cups cards in a relationship spread. There is certainly something there. The Major Arcana are in the positions that signify obstacles to the relationship which shows that there are still serious issues that need to be resolved before this can become something stable and reliable. The Page on your end is still a very young, unshaped energy and the eight of Wands on his end shows things happening quickly and a lot of movement, so this is still developing.
Your Page of Cups shows that you have butterflies, it's fun to be around this guy, no matter how infuriating you may sometimes find him. There could be playful banter and flirting going on that you enjoy, in any event there is chemistry and you could imagine falling in love with this person.
His Eight of Wands shows he has been taken by surprise. Things happened quickly and he kind of rushed into it without being able to think things through. This may be how things usually happen for him as by your account he seems a restless person who is always in motion. However, he has been a bit overwhelmed or surprised by how he feels about you. It seems you have probably shaken his cool macho alpha male image a bit.
Ten of Cups promises that you are right about your intuition. Deep down he is a relationship guy, he can commit once the right person comes along and secretly he dreams of a quiet, settled life, maybe even a family. Perhaps not right now but it's not an idea he feels threatened or appalled by. So there is potential and underneath the surface there is more than just hormones and sexual attraction.
What speaks against a relationship with him is Judgement, one of the highest Arcana so it is not to be taken lightly. It seems a major obstacle. Judgement is all about closing the door on something in the past and beginning something completely new, renewal, transformation, liberation. I think it means that this is a pretty final decision for both of you. Entering into a relationship you will both have to change profoundly. You mentioned the rebellion against the Empire that you are involved in. It could be that Judgement in this respect means that you need to bring actual liberation and renewal to the world before you two can concentrate on your budding relationship.
Strength as the shadow card shows that there are inner forces at war that need to be reconciled. The scruffy-looking scoundrel lion that is to be tamed by the level-headed maiden. You will need to show strength but also allow yourself to show weaknesses (he probably needs to feel that you "need" him and need to be protected from time to time, so no matter how tough you are, perhaps sometimes you should leave the poor chap his illusions). However, his passion, courage and adventurousness can also help you and inspire you. It actually seems you are a good counterbalance for each other.
So all in all I would say, you should give it time but stay open to the possibility that deep down he is a good guy with a heart of gold. Perhaps you need to go through with your mission and along the way you will notice that he changes and/or your perception of him changes.
I wish you luck with the rebellion
May the Force be with you!
What this is all about...
This blog describes my journey with the tarot. Here you can find articles, spreads, deck reviews, tarot fiction, practice readings, exercises or get readings (see tabs above).
TIP: You can navigate the categories on the right to find Spreads, "Dear Satu" readings for fictional characters, Deck Reviews, Exercises and more.